i went to this guys house this weekend and slept on his couch n woke up to this cat standing on my tummy and i said “aww i didnt know you had a cat” and he said “yeah her names bev” then he paused and said “short for beverage”
ever feel like your head is a magic eight ball and your brain is the little floating die but instead of like twenty different outcomes it only ever rolls “outlook not so good”
reminder that being suicidal is a SERIOUS problem. i know this website has normalized the idea that having suicidal thoughts isn’t something that requires medical attention, but i promise it is and if you’re frequently having suicidal thoughts then it’s crucial for you to seek help.
“When you’re six you have like twenty-eight responsibilities. You have to help your mom. You have to help your dad. And you have to keep your room clean so your parents don’t come in and see your secrets. I have over one hundred secrets and only five have been discovered because they’re protected by lasers. I’ll tell you one but then I’ll have to throw it away. I’m a real ninja master because I got powers from glowing red rocks I found in the caverns of lost treasure. Someone hid them there in the 1980’s during World War 7. That’s all I can tell you now because I don’t want everybody to know how special I am.”
At this point I just assume every story on tumblr is fake but I reblog it anyway because who cares we’re all dying and who am I to deprive myself of a tepid chortle